Dylan Salisbury’s weblog

Well, Californians have bought their bluetooth headsets and improved their in-car mobile phone practices. But the work world (at least the slice that I experience) still has a problem with etiquette somewhere else. These are the top ten worst actions that I have seen. (I won’t admit to which ones I have actually done).

10. Allowing any mobile device to make any sort of noise whatsoever. This could have been avoided with some planning, unless an emergency brought you into the bathroom. If your devices are all silenced and untouched when you’re taking care of business, consider yourself a silent hero. There’s not a lot of glory in this position, but pat yourself on the back… but AFTER you wash your hands, OK?

9. A phone rings with a customized ringtone. A unique ring sound pierces any sort of feigned anonymity between you and others. You’re in the unenviable position of deciding whether to fumble around to silence the phone or to let your co-workers or business associates enjoy 30 full seconds of Groove Is In The Heart.

8. Carrying a laptop into the room and leaving it at the sink. This seems to happen when a busy person is hurring in between meetings. But, is this really the best place to leave it? If I spash your computer while I’m washing my hands, nobody’s going to want to explain the situation to IT. This action is even worse if the laptop is opened up because it’s configured to sleep or hibernate when shut. IT’S STARING AT ME!

7. Answering a call at the sink. Here’s where the list stops becoming funny. You may have a relationship with your caller in which the subject of this call is perfectly appropriate to discuss in a public restroom, but everyone else in the room will be threatened or tempted by the idea that their potty noises will be exposed to an unknown caller.

6. Answering a call in the stall. Now the hygiene axis comes into play, and we’ve clearly crossed over the “yucky” line. Once you experience this happening in a public restroom, you may think about it any time ANYBODY presents you an opportunity to touch his or her mobile phone.

5. Walking into the restroom while on a phone call, and proceeding to do one’s bathroom business. This is a show of audacity that is visible to co-workers on both sides of the restroom door! You have basically told all of co-workers that you view the work environment as a big college dorm, or something. Even worse if you were just listening in on a conference call and surprise everyone when you start talking at the stall or urinal. Hey buddy, two minutes ago when you were quiet and I was making a loud noise, did you have your phone on mute?

4. Placing a call from the stall. OK, you knew you were going to be there for a long time and your wanted to knock a couple items off your to-do list for the day. But did you have some other item on the list marked MAINTAIN CIVILITY WITH THE REST OF THE HUMAN POPULATION?

3. Answering a call at the urinal. OK, so you’re multitasking and ambidextrous. Yuck.

2. Placing a call from the urinal. I wouldn’t have even included this if I hadn’t witnessed it myself. Of the six billion plus people in the world, does any one of them really want to receive this particular phone call?

1. Walking into the bathroom stall with one’s laptop. Do I really want to know what’s going on here? I’m just going to assume that you need to see the PowerPoint slides to follow along with the conference call you’re listening to.